September 6, 2009
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Beautiful loser
Two guys I grew up with.One: He is tall and lean and few dress better than he does. He has a way with words and projects bad boy with every glance. But at the same time a soft vulnerability seems to be just showing itself, but just a hint.Through his eyes the foolishness of it all becomes clear. They are all so foolish, but not him and not you, if you are one of his. One of the elite. In his company you are one of the few who understand.
But no one seems to notice that he has done nothing in his life. No relationship has lasted, no job has been good enough for him. He has succeeded at nothing at all, other than to convince others of the foolishness of all those boring people out there. When you meet him you will like him, his dress and manner tell you, that this is one of the big dogs of this world.
Two: Another tall man, this one is huge, with a little boy look on his face that tells you the truth. He will aways be just a little boy, something is wrong with him. He can read, but not well at all. He can talk, but in a way that reminds you of a 12 year old boy. He almost always smiles.
What you will not see is that he is mechanically gifted. For some reason he understands cars, engines, and transmissions. Complicated things and he is not very intelligent, but in this area he just understands it, as if it was instinctual knowledge. He has had the same job his entire life. He makes a lot of money doing it, he is one of the best. The money he uses to support his mother, brothers and sister. The entire family was extremely poor until he started working. If you see him you will think trailer trash, a loser of the lowest order.
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The Traits of a loser.
Its obvious that the word “loser” has many meanings or maybe no real meaning at all, but here is my take on want I mean when I say it.
There are only two traits to being a loser, but many symptoms of those traits
Trait one: The world revolves around them, they are extremely self-centered, and their only real goal in life seems to be their own pleasure. If they have this trait alone, and not the second one, they might have the honor of being something worse than just a loser, just not as pitiful. No they can be more malignant than a loser, if someone appears to have succeeded in this quest, (but they never will really succeed), they can become a narcissist. And a narcissist is a loser of a different sort.
Trait two: It is never their fault, they are victims of an evil world. Never responsible, unless things go well, they are life’s little victims. Strangely real victims of events rarely use their victim status as an excuse, but losers revel in it. You can be a loser and have this trait all by itself, but to be a total loser in life, you need both traits.
Comments (32)
I think I might be a loser >.<
I can honestly say that there have been moments when I’ve been very much a loser, according to this definition (which I like very much, by the way).
I hate to admit it, but early in my adult life I was loser type #2. Slowly I am learning to really take responsibility for my own actions and even face the mistakes of my past, and correcting them when I can.
Nice.
Among some more of my more astute acquaintances, I will say this about me, “I am not your average Loser.’ lol Yes, I am above average.
I always thought of Loser as someone that just is not successful in life someway. They may function, but they never really fit in. They are kind of inept. Your first guy just sounds like they are full of pride. They last one hits a little closer to home. I do dwell too much on some ancient history, but I have played it over in my mind too much. I shared one of my ‘victim’ stories and she laughed saying that I got what I deserved. That was a surprise.
okay… I’ll tell you what… I’m self centered and vain… I love myself the most… but my world isn’t all about me… my friends and family play a big role here… I want to buy a BMW for my dad because I saw a twinkle in his eye when he saw the car… My parents have sacrificed a lot for me… and I really want to treat them like a King and queen when I become rich. Sure I love it myself, but they have equal importance… Being self centered isn’t the trait of a loser… being extremely self centered is. Acc. to me, a loser is a person who just can’t see the brighter side of life. Who is born to say, “I can’t.” or “This is impossible.” Optimism is very important. Nothing else really matters.
hi my name is Pete…. and I am a loser… lol.. oh wait this is not LA *Losers Anonymous* sorry… forget I said anything.. hehehe
eh, a loser is someone who isn’t successful not a narcissist
The second guy sounds like an Aspberger kind of person to me. My brother is an “Aspie” kid. He’s an amazing artist. He churns out like, nearly a hundred drawings A DAY, no sweat. He’s best at superhero comics. He likes to experiment too, though. Sometimes Spongebob (*gag*), sometimes dragons, sometimes funny cartoons that he makes up himself.
But he’s socially awkward, more so than your average 13-yr-old guy. He talks more like an 11-yr-old. Not a big difference, but noticeable.
Anyway…. (/super humungous tangent)
I’ve never really thought of myself as a loser. I don’t think I am. I’m definitely not a popular elitist either. I’m a pretty steady middle-of-the-road type, I guess. :p
@Paul_Partisan - According to you.
@Paul_Partisan - That is laughable.
@trunthepaige - NO what you described was someone who is selfish or a narcissist, not a loser… different personalities altogether.. a loser loses, doesn’t have success, is a failure not someone who is self-absorbed
if you can’t see that, well that’s your problem
@Paul_Partisan - I have no problems at all. One you are holding to a very limited definition of a word that has no set meaning and two, did you actually read what I wrote?
Loved that post! I was married to a loser for ten years. When we met I was so naive I fell for everything he ever told me. But he fit your description perfectly. Everyone loved him, and he never went anywhere. Everything bad was everybody else’s fault, and he was always a victim. The only thing I would add is that losers drag people who try to help them down.
~Samantha
i think the term loser is used by superficial people (losers) to label anyone NOT driving the BMW. i think also that a real loser is someone with potential who chooses to stay in their own pain and never try.
Couldn’t a loser also be someone with great potential who just lets it all go? I feel like I may be that kind of a loser myself.
I think this is a repost?
But nevertheless, great post. Definitely not so easy to peg a person as a success in life, nor even to weigh ourselves in one category or the other.
great post understanding of loser town.
Pride is dangerous and destructive. I have been labeled a loser by many who view themselves are more socially significant, yet many of those people who are more socially accomplish very little. The dangerous thing here is that after saying that, I feel inclined to view myself as better than those who label me a loser. I want to view myself as more significant in better ways than they are and suddenly I become loser #1. Balancing humility with good self esteem is feat I have not been able to accomplish yet, but I’m open to any ideas on the matter.
PLEASE CHANGE YOUR LAYOUT, TRUN.
@SerenaDante - i wholeheartedly agree… JK
@NikBv - Yes it is I did not label it as such thing time. You have a good memory it is 2 years old and you left one of the better thought out comments back them.
@dlmcniel - Letting talent go, maybe maybe not. That depends on your reasons and attitude about it. An underachievers is not inherently a loser. At least not in my eyes
I think I’ve read this before. Your double posts would make great material on comparing how the first comment influences the following ones.
Loser 1 does sound precisely like a narcissist. Loser 2 does not sound like a loser at all. They both seem like difficult people to know. The story is much better without your analysis of the traits of losers, which only confuses things.
@dirtbubble - In other words you disagree
@trunthepaige - Not sure if I do or don’t disagree. Loser is a term you have defined according your purpose. I might rephrase it this way: the “traits” section muddies and dilutes the entry. I would wouldn’t miss it.
Beautiful Loser is an amazing song by Bob Seger.
And this entry is pretty amazing too.
As we trun the paiges of life…
I wonder wonder, wonder wonder (from Frank Zappa’s “The Story Of Bobby Brown”).
I don’t know where I fit into all this. I have known Type One and Type Two guys in life. In the long run, Type Two is a more reliable guy even though he’s a very simple guy. Type One is like a gift wrap with nothing inside of it. I have wasted a lot of time and probably still do, respecting and trying to imitate the Type One fair weather friend although I am only 5’8″ and need to lose a few pounds.
The guy I grew up with who was like Type Two, was in the Marines for several years and could never pass NCO course, but he’s a big strong guy who worked for various towing and industrial cleaning businesses and now works as a groundskeeper for a golf course near Jacksonville, Florida. We’ve not been in touch, and he doesn’t keep a blog that I am aware of. Basically he lived with his parents when they still lived in New Jersey, and when they retired he moved to Florida with them, into a townhouse down the block from them. I gather he has a nephew who is autistic, and he has never married, never had children. Sometimes he did volunteer work for a railroad in a state park where little kids would ride the train. Yeah, he went to a different high school than me, a school for kids with learning disabilities but who were educable. He was working in a car wash for minimum wage after high school and then he became a jarhead around 1976 and that lasted a few years. He was offshore doing sea duty in the Mediterranean in 1981 when a suicide bomber took out dozens of his comrades in arms in Beirut. I think his mother was happy when he mustered out.
i HATE it when people can’t take responsibility for their own actions and nothing is ever their fault. those types of people are going to have hard lives i’m afraid…
Sheesh! Sounds like the current presidential administration!!!
Interesting post. Mostly agree.
Losers are what they are. They suck. But, let’s all be P.C. damn everyone who brings it up. So very 70′s.