July 2, 2012
-
Sex and Relationship Questions
Here is what you guys asked me and these are my answers.
I would not enjoy it like I do now. But I do love my husband so sure, the physical closeness is still great.
I cant think of a single thing…but love and relationships in general win out over sex but they are not things.
Yes at first it did a lot, but its back now
This question I am going to decline.
Both it depends on how excited I am and if oral sex is more foreplay or the main act at that time. When I swallow, I find that lightly squeezing his balls and sucking it all out, that brings much joy out of him and a lot of noise. He seems happy.
I was just reading a comment. that is the look on my face when I am reading and typing. Ok it was a dumb comment I was reading
Sadly church is not as good a place as it should be. Single people after a certain age stop going to church regularly until they have a partner. But start there anyway, then stay in touch with christian friends. They do have other friends. In other words stay social with your old friends, even if they are in a relationship. They do have a social life with others in it and some of them are single. Then consider being more active in different ministries and charities that you are interested in. Its not a dating org, but you will meet like minded people and their friends. Again its all about networking
Really good
It doesn’t matter if she does have feelings for you, she obviously wants you gone, if you do not know. But if you like pain ask her
That caused a lot of issues, I believe few willingly chaste men would have married me. And in many ways its hard to blame them. The tensions on that subject were high, but we did talk them out before getting married. I believe it could have broke us up, if we had not dealt with that ahead of time. Me being the aggressive sex “expert” to a very masculine man who stayed a virgin as a matter of faith. It was hard on him and embarrassing to me. Once that subject was brought up and dealt with. We agreed to never talk abut it again. He is my last lover , he is my life, no past lover is even close.
I would call that being his prostitute. Never date a married man,
Keep practicing. mistakes are all part of the fun
Consider foreplay in the shower. If being with them a long time is the main problem the issue is deeper. Its a matter of letting the relationship grow stale. That really is not a sexual issues in most cases
Yes most of the time, so I’m not sure I would be of much help to anyone who can not. Then again is it really a problem? Its all fun and we are all a little different
That is an issue that must be dealt with before getting married. You probably will change your mind in a few years, but if you do not, you have a man who wants to be a father with a wife who does not. If that is a strong feeling with you, you two should not get married. That difference is a deal breaker in the long run. Think about it and pray about it before getting married
It changes a lot. Right now I like the control of being on top of him
For the relationship, we take time off of work, go somewhere different for a few days and that tends to lead to jumping each others bones. Sexually every so often I like to do something for him very unexpected and mostly for him. The two, sex and relationship, help each other so work on both even if it seems only one part of your life is becoming routine
I have yet to hear what the Republican party approved sex acts are. I would guess its the entire Kama Sutra. As a Christian no sex act is out of bounds inside of a marriage
I have lived out all of my sexual fantasies, the ones that did not involve teenage celebrity crushes and I am no longer a teenager. Many of them even lived up to expectations
A few where a bad mistakeI am still looking for it, the search is never ending … its all about the looking for it
Comments (50)
The oral sex answer and description made your hotness factor go up a bit.
@TheTheologiansCafe - well it seemed like a detailed answer was needed to make my point..
Thank you
Nicely done – I guess I forget that some people think sex (enjoying sex) is taboo when you are a christian.
Wow, that’s neat that apparently you weren’t a virgin and your husband was. Kudos to a great man for accepting the you as you, not your vagina’s history as you. And piss off to the old biddies, because time and time again people will comment how gawd awful it is for an experienced woman to have sex with a virgin man. Yet, the reverse is more often true.
Did you ever get harassed for that? And how did you respond?
Pheww…when I was a Christian a few decades ago, we would never talk about sex in public, even though this is not face to face, they way they do now. Especially revealing our personal experiences. Times sure have changed.
Exciting answers. Interesting to hear this kind of thing from a different source than the usual sex bloggers on xanga
@BoulderChristina - Basically that is way I did it. Sex is far from forbidding you are just suppose to stay loyal to each other. Nothing else is forbidden
@TiredSoVeryTired - I had a rep, so some of his friends did not like the idea of us dating. And when we were engaged so soon, a lot of people issued warnings to him. But no one gave me a hard time personally and everyone was excepting of me quickly after we were married.
@runisom48 - In some circles you still do not talk about sex at all other than to say its bad, but among the younger people we tend to be more open.
@TheMushyPear - Thank you
My husband and I were in a similar situation when we got married- I was definitely not a virgin but he was. But like you sad, if you talk things like that out before marriage everything should be fine
. Great answers all around!
“this question I am going to decline” would be my public answer to most of these lol
I thought your profile pic you were eating in a resturant and ate the lemon instead of the fish!
Lolol, I want to hear a bad mistake fantasy story. I hope it involves a batman costume.
Wow. I didn’t expect you to be so candid. Cool, glad you and your husband are happy.
Wow, so you Christians are just like us normal people !?!
Paige, I feel closer to u now. I agree with @TheTheologiansCafe
“As a Christian no sex act is out of bounds inside of a marriage.”
This is not correct. Any act that is not open to the possibility of pregnancy (oral sex, anal sex, digital manipulation, etc.) is prohibited. That is why God killed Onan.
@SKANLYN - Sorry but as I am not catholic I go by what the bible actually says. And it does not say that
@SKANLYN - Yeah, if any God like that existed, I’d be like… okay, go away now.
@trunthepaige - The Pastor at my church when I was growing up used to call you Protestants “supermarket Christians”. He’d describe y’all as shoppers who would grab the laws of God that weren’t to difficult and throw them in your basket while leaving the rest on the shelf. Certainly not the kind of effort it takes for one to get into Heaven.
I’ll be over later to videotape. (Skanlyn’s camera is broken.)
@Kellsbella - better hurry
@SKANLYN - The scriptures tell us not to add or subtract from the bible. I would say he added a lot to them called going back to what the bible really says is ignoring his made up rules
@trunthepaige - You’re very naughty. I see I must bring my Indiana Jones whip. (Shh, it’s only for Protestants.)
@DrummingMediocrity - Well thank you
@Relic47 - Will wonders never cease
I just hate people who enjoy sex simply because I am not having sex and yet you say it is very enjoyable all I can say is if you really get orgasms for having a penis inserted into then there is something terribly wrong with you and the world.
Good post!
@RulerofMasons - do you really believe enjoying sex with my husband is wrong?
This is one argument I can never win, because most people get married, have sex, have children, and have more sex. Now you could argue that your sex life is better than most, and I would believe you should you be that daring, but…. why do we live in a world where genital stimulation is the number one activity? Why!!!
The questions given to you was not what I expected, but your answers were refreshing
@RulerofMasons - its not but it is a big blessing inside of a marriage
Okay okay, it is, nothing is wrong with sex, so many people are doing it, it is how we procreate for crying out loud!!! And you’re good at it, you have more experience at it than hubby. Must make hubby feel like he is not as good as your past lovers. I just can’t picture myself having sex, the idea of sticking my dick in a hole is foreign to me. That is all : )
ps so you chose your husband because you want to be the more experienced in bed? Do you sometimes feel another man would have been more competent in the bedroom? Of course you’re answer is going to be ” I love my husband and we have a great sex life.” But, then I guess for you, to be faithful should be more difficult than it is for your husband, because after all, you know what it’s like to sleep with different hands and moments, while your husband only knows what you taught him. It’s like he is in high school and you are in college.
I think I have to do this now. haha.
@BoulderChristina - I HIGHLY recommend a book called “Sacred Sex” by Tim Allan Gardner. It is definitely not a book about “Christian” Kama Sutra, but it gets to the heart of what God designed sex for…….and let me tell ya, PLEASURE and FUN are deeply in the mix. Anyone – Christian or not – who tells you otherwise has absolutely NOT read (or at least understood) “Song of Songs” in the Bible. LOL But yes, sex is meant to be pleasurable and thrilling, to say the least. Signing onto God’s team (through Christ) does not mean tossing out fun. It just means REFINING what we would deem as fun and removing what would cause un-fun things to happen.
Sounds like a win-win to me!
@RulerofMasons - Mind if I give you a summary of a Biblical/Christian perspective to your question?
I unblocked you. Sorry but you pissed me off with that “gay guy scum thing”. I give you the victory of the argument. You won. I don’t care. I apologize for being a jerk. Anyhow. About that G Spot question up there ^ . I have some video’s that are PHENOMENAL! They teach step by step IN DETAIL how men can give women multiple squirting “across the room” orgasms through full body message and 6 different hand positions. I am NOT joking. Actually a lot of work and learning.They are very instructional and technical. Created by Steve P my friend. It will take some WORK and STUDY for your hubby to learn but it is worth it beyond belief. If you can find a way for me to transfer the files by email or some other way I will send them to you for free. Your relationship will EXPLODE with growth and your stress levels will DECLINE tremendously I promise you that. Your choice doesn’t matter to me. In fact I would rather not have people knowing about this.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbUBBb03WyE&feature=BFa&list=PL5B9F87A869CBEE4F
Look at her pupils. Ya she is “faking”. LOL
Thanks for answering.
I think it is funny that people think Christians don’t have good sex. In the boundary of marriage, anything goes.
I read the first page of comments. They are really varied and interesting. This is my favorite. “Any act that is not open to the possibility
of pregnancy (oral sex, anal sex, digital manipulation, etc.) is
prohibited. That is why God killed Onan.” Not agreeing or disagreeing….It is just my favorite.
finally, something you can talk about without all that bias. i’m thinking you’re serena dante’s replacement on xanga, but with more of a woman’s view, than a girl’s…………………..
nice job so far:)
@runisom48 - @trunthepaige - I for one am very glad that Christians are starting to talk abut such things more openly. I think all the hush-hush leads to confusion and fear where it does not need to be.
@SKANLYN - Genesis 38: 8 Then
Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother’s wife and perform the duty
of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.”
9 But
Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he went in
to his brother’s wife he would waste the semen on the ground, so as not
to give offspring to his brother.
10 And what he did was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and he put him to death also.
Saying that this story means that all out-of-vagina sex is a sin is bad exegesis. Onan was killed because he was trying to circumvent the law, in which he was supposed to marry his dead brother’s childless widow so that his brother would still have heirs. Nothing in this passage suggests that non-procreative sex is wrong in and of itself. In fact, the Song of Solomon describes oral sex (through euphemisms) in positive terms.
@RulerofMasons - That could be true, your idea is not out of line with what is possible. But in this case it is not true at all
@NSFWChristian - I hear so much from people (who have no idea what they are talking about), that Christians are sexually repressed. And maybe there is a bit of truth to that in regards to churchianity. But not in Christianity
sex should benjoyable 4 both parties
Mad props for being so honest and stinking hilarious. Your “Republican Party” response all but had me rolling on the floor.
Wow…. I am old as a motherfucker…. I am OLD, lol. Not that I didn’t find your answers hot….I was just not expecting that brutal honesty. Not to mention the fact that almost every question was sex related…what a shame. I think you’re more interesting than a piece of ass. I would have asked more personal, less sexual questions. Maybe next time. Good to read your posts again, even if briefly.
@Xcholo4u - It is always great to see you are still here I miss you
Any tips for a woman whom has never climaxed, as far as she can tell? All I know is all this amazing sex stuff I hear about, I have never felt/experienced myself. My husband hates it and wants so badly to help me reach that point. I simply try to tell him that for me, it’s not all about the climax. It’s more about the loving each other, being close, and each being willing to try and meet the other’s needs, you know? When we have fun & simply enjoy it without worry, those are the best times for me. However, he just seems to find that a complicated/difficult answer to understand. He really enjoys reaching that point, and he wants to make me feel as good as I make him feel… Yet, for whatever reason, I just have never gotten to that point. So, how do you know when you have actually climaxed? To me, the act of sex is nothing really special. Like, I could live my life without it. However, I would never trade in the closeness I feel it brings me and my husband.
I enjoy him trying to please me, and I enjoy having fun with him, you know? I just would like to climax one day for his sake, if not my own. 
So, I’m open to any tips or suggestions. Thanks! (I usually just end up frustrated because I feel I’ve tried everything imaginable, and still can’t climax. It sucks. It makes me feel less womanly. I dunno. :/ You know?)
The stuff you are writing blows out my mind.
Relationship Advice by Code Invasion