March 11, 2013
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Help Wanted: I Need Sycophants
This blogging thing is a lot easier if you have about 50 sycophants.
I need me some “yes men”, you guys to apply for the job . Brown nosers are preferred, all you need to do is say “great post Paige”, or some other light weight comment to the effect that I am always great and you love me. After every entry I post, you will need to recommend it, along with giving your best insipid comment. Yes you will need to do this even if it is a lame entry. Sock puppets are allowed, if you are trying to keep your reputation intact. Just make sure and use friends lock, so no one can figure out that it is fake sites that are propping me up. We might be able to get the 50 sycophants I need with as few as five of you doing the job.
I may also need some official enemies to keep things moving around here. But I do not seem to have a lot of problems getting real ones to show up.
I am just kidding you guys. I do not really want 50 sycophants. No one else would ever do anything like this would they?
Comments (69)
wow! great post, paige! you are so smart too! with all your misspelled words, i was sure you were asking for ‘psycho pants’. so do i get the job?
@Composing_Life - prefect you have a job. now how many fake sits can you send my way
@LannyBudd - I hope that is a metaphorical ass
Awww man, I really wish I could have been of service somehow..
I can be your yes man.
Awww man, I really wish I could have been of service somehow..
I can be your yes man.
Hahaha while I admit that sometimes it would be nice to have some of my own “yes men”, at the same time I think it would leave me feeling kind of hollow.
… is this based off of that facebook conversation in the Xanga group?
Great post Paige! Do you need my resume? lol
Especially not for their very own posts!
This entry bores me. Your sarcasm is usually either much more covert, or you’re at least more “in your face” Ann Coulter about it.
Granted, since this post is also a passive-aggressive slam to at least a couple xanga users, it does carry some weight… But I feel like no morons were harmed in the making of it, so it doesn’t really carry enough zing.
Perhaps you need to bring back the heat a little to get the serious interactions you’re looking for here? Breitbart died, we need a replacement
What’s a Sycophant?What’s Yes men? What’s Brown nosers?What’s a sockpuppet? Your language is too hard for me to understand!
Sadly, they would. And they have.
@TheGiantSlayer - Yes
@RulerofMasons - summit your resume
@ksnomad - You just may have a job
@mtngirlsouth - It never happens like that
@DougX831 - Okay that hurt that really hurt
@Rescued_by_grace - http://www.merriam-webster.com/
@firetyger - You said it! And yes
Yes wonderful entry
Yes wonderful entry cousin of mine, cousin who just sort has my password but would never use my old abandoned site as a sock puppet
@trunthepaige -
Since I only have one sub who hasn’t commented here my rec doesn’t count for much but sure,I can rec it even tho I don’t understand your speak!
Since I only have one sub who hasn’t commented here my rec doesn’t count for much but sure,I can rec it even tho I don’t understand your speak!
My role will be that of a character with ambivalent allegiances.
One moment you want sickophants…the next moment you profess to not wanting sickophants. Which one is it PAIGE!? Sickophant/non-sicko-phant? Don’t confuse people like that…., Some people confuse words easy
Can I qualify with being psycho?
One word….Dan
Really if you want to get famous, ask Dan for the list he has or found. It has everyone whose ever commented on a ISH site’s xanga name. You copy about 20 at a time and paste it into your invite and send out thousands at a time. I did it once, not on this site, but another site I had about a year or so ago. Got many thousands of friends. Never a dull moment back in those days.
Haha you are hilarious and very clever
I must say though when I read yes men all I thought was a bunch of Jim Carey’s on computers making funny faces… coz that’s what Jim does
I would never make fake sites, yeah it might promote my blog but it just seems like too much effort being put in to seem more popular. I’d rather have 3 people who are genuinely interested in what I have to say.
Great post
i saw that list and i know how to make a new one and how to send thousands of freinds requests in a single shot. but i never felt like doing it. for some unknown reasons i have never had a hard time getting as much traffic as i want. @brown_buffalo -
@Urban_Peril -
oh yes my site needs its resident nut
Xanga would be great for me if I had but one psychophant.
As it is, I must rely on my native whit and charm.
And that doesn’t seem to be working out very well.
you already have a few PSYCHO-fants. too many maybe.
Fake sites? Way too much work.
@WaitingToShrug - No kidding maybe if it made you the top dog on youtube where you can make money.
@Amandascowen - Yes I know and that can be fun to watch
@mortimerZilch -
Well maybe
@ImNotUglyIJustNeedLove - you are such a charmer
@Celestial_Teapot - No you are the lovable bad guy
@openly_honest_166 - I am glad you like it
@Urban_Peril - well yes
OMG. I love you, Smart Goddess of all things internet blog.
@Kuai_le1010 - You win!
@brown_buffalo - More on that subject. I used to play with the ticks of large readership long ago. I would try something a few times to see if it worked and just generally observe others and what they were doing. I even gave friend spamming a try. But only with three groups of 25 to see how it worked. And it did work, when you did it right, it took almost no time at all to gather a spam list. using someone else s list was not going to satisfy my curiosity about the way it all worked. Just cut paste use contact software to filter and not repeatably spam the same people. Yes I am leaving one thing out that needs to be left out or I might be encouraging it to be done again. That was the way that SerenaDante and Dan did things (pulse boobs).
As you (da vinci?) should know, you have seen me since 2006 when I first showed up (I must have been one of those stupid Christians), I never stick with xanga long and I tend to take very long breaks. I never really tried very hard and right now I am just having fun. But if you were to try all of the self promoting tricks now (and I am not doing any of them other than a bit of time stamping) you would end with maybe 50 commenters and 500 readers total. And that is top dog stuff on xanga now. Back in the day you would have 400 individuals commenting and over 3000 readers a day, who knows how many total, maybe 30,000, if you were in the top 3 everyday. Back them you could have used your Xanga readership into something useful, but not now.
All that said Dan used what he learned here to make a career. Xanga was a learning tool for him. What is the best way to gather a large group of people to a website with the least work possible per person. How to you promote it and how do you keep them coming back. These are very useful sales skills. Xanga was educational for me as well. Him and I are in extremely similar businesses, not the same company and not the same market. But in other ways very much the same. What he learned here is doing him a lot of good.
@trunthepaige - not nearly as much as you’re winning
@trunthepaige - I’ve been doing this more on Facebook than anything else. Xanga isn’t even on the map anymore. Back in the day it had millions, but today it’s dwindled to almost nothing.
I am a woodworker now. I used to be in IT but I think I would die if I had to keep doing that. My business isn’t doing so good, but I have other sources of income until I can bring it up to a level I can live off of.
Facebook seems to have a curve where if you have a business page, you need to get it up to about 350 likes before you start really seeing any sales. It’s a great way to get your name out there though.
The thing about FB is that as a business page you can’t go around spamming people, you have to lure them to you which really inspires some creativity. I have made about 30 ads so far that I send out to my other two FB accounts with a total reach of about 46,000 so far. However I’ve only gotten about 140 likes so far. Woodworking is not all that popular, however people really like my stuff when they see it. So it’s a matter of turning looks into sales.
Not an easy thing to do at all.
@brown_buffalo - I would never have guessed you were a craftsmen. IT yes craftsmen no. That shows you what I know…So what is you business page? unless you are trying to keep xanga far from business. I can understand that.
The spamming list works rather well for what Dan does. He works with the little guys. I work the big ones so I need to do more personal networking than he does. My clients are insulated from mass promotion. But it sounds like his sales are at least as high as mine. Higher at times.
You need a high end rep is my guess. Decorators? Is it a purely art market? Or do you do furniture as well? In other words some of your best self promotion may be the same as mine
@trunthepaige - https://www.facebook.com/OutdoorFurnitureDesignByRussell
This is the site. FB only allows so much, so I do what I can. I’ve noticed reading my page stats that I am very heavy on men, which is understandable, women don’t really care about woodworking that much, so my ads are targeted to women. Men like my stuff, but rarely buy, women aren’t really interested until they see it then they are much more likely than men are to buy. I’m afraid that one of my weakest points is pricing my items. There is no way to get what they are worth, except in materials. I am trying to decide if I should price things up front or refer people to CustomMade.com where I have a sales page with all my stuff.
@brown_buffalo - Your site is fun and very male. Woman in general like to see it in the environment it will be used. lots of very attractive pictures of your stuff wound be good (you do have some). Copy the style of the best high end furniture sites you have seen. Lots of links to a sales site. Without looking tacky doing it, not hurt the look. That is just my take.
Some of those smaller pieces are just beautiful
Smooze some decorators if you know any. Promote the ones who promote you. you are in a hard business you need to be well know to command the prices you need to make a living. I am guessing that you can make more faster on the outdoor furniture. Maybe you can tie into a landscape architects business by offering custom fits. If you can make enough fast enough a local home show might not be a bad investment. But only you know that. All the best to you. The world needs more craftsmen and less mass produced junk
@trunthepaige - I do have a bedroom where I can set up displays, but my daughter uses that room when she comes home from college. I’d like to fix it up with some nice sets to display things. But right now, I’d have to keep tearing things down for her. I’ll be glad when she’s on her own.
@brown_buffalo - I free showroom is really a must. You do not need more overhead so one that costs is bad idea until you know it will pay for itself
Nice post Paige. One of your best yet.
@RushmoreJ - That’s the spirit
C’mon Paige… you know that Sycophant is too big a word for anyone who’d take the job seriously. Remember, fewer syllables equal more comments.
@poorpaige - Wow, you’re hot! Are you new around here?
@trunthepaige - Is that a website for posting your products?
@trunthepaige - you have no idea what a brown noser I can be.
I read that as ‘sociopath’ when I glanced at it quickly.
@brown_buffalo - No these are my products http://www.emser.com/
@MyxlDove - she is such a hottie isn’t she
@MzKeekz - I have been accused of over using that word. But the guy who accused me of it just might be one
great post lol!
@SlackerSociety - And you a a perfect commenter
Let’s not confuse sycophants with innocent monkeys..
@locomotiv - That would be bad. Monkeys are cute
@trunthepaige - Sorry it takes so long to get back to you, my anti-virus has issues with Xanga.com. Thinks its a malware site from time to time, lol.
Is this you selling or you making and selling?
@brown_buffalo - No I do not run the web sites, that is what I sell and for whom.
Do you know the difference between a brown noser and a shit head? Depth perception! That is my favorite joke ever!!
Paige go do the dishes like a good girl ought to do.
I think I’ll just stick to being your left-leaning, agnostic-ish, pro-choice, anti-gun pretenemy
@steph843 - But I have always liked you lots. Despite your many flaws
@Such_are_you - I love that joke! You I might not love you as much, not after that comment
@trunthepaige - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I know where to hit, huh?!
@trunthepaige - Oh, wait, you said sycophant, not misogynist? That explains it.
funny! Really, ROFL…
This is very funny Paige.
Hunt
P.S. Don’t forget our deal to REC all my science articles.
@Hunt4Truth - Of course we all need are yes men
@Such_are_you - No more big words on Xanga.
@trunthepaige - yeah, sorry…I’ll rephrase the comment.
Oh wait you wanted a butt kisser and not a woman hater?! That explains it. Without the big words it loses something.
This post isnt official until someone posts a meme as a comment.
Just saying…
Nice article and great knowledge. Thanks for the share. I love this story and enjoy with your words!
Tacoma Roofing