May 23, 2013
-
A Teacher, or a Loser?
It is odd who people follow, learn from, and hold up as someone to admire.
Claim great failures in life, by way of a mass of foolish decisions. Blame it all on the worlds inability to reward stupid actions. And take no personal responsibility for personal failures. Such a person might gain a rep as a person who has lived a “real” life, such a hard life. Some will admire them, and may be fascinated by their incite into the world they have so failed in. To learn how you deal with these self inflicted wounds is a strange goal. Avoiding the wounds, by not inflicting them on yourself seems the better idea.
I would think one would rather learn to do it right in the first place. Believing there is wisdom in the words, of a person who takes no personal responsibility for their own bitter life. That is a truly foolish thing to believe.
Many of us have had very bad things happen to them, at one time or another. But we rarely talk about such events. You see we have moved on and made life work. Never blaming anyone for our failures except ourselves. Taking personnel responsibility leads to personal success. You may not be in control of this world. But you and you alone are responsible for the results of your own actions. Personally I am not going to respect anyone, who is not willing to accept that responsibility.
I try to look at and learn from those doing things the right way and succeeding. It is best to learn from the happy in life, the successful in life. To model myself on those I want to be like. People I have reason to admire.Unhappy losers are a lot of things, and yes they can be learned from. They can serve as bad examples, not to be followed. And I suppose the bitter losers do have a certain attraction to them. In the same way a car crash is interesting.
But please don’t think such people actually know anything about living life the best way possible. They have nothing to teach you about life. If they can’t get it right in their own lives, why listen to them? It is not the world that is screwed up and holding them down. They hold themselves down. But oh some of them are so bitterly opinionated and full of very bad advice.
Comments (32)
I agree with the spirit of this post. When you are knocked down, ya gotta get back up…dust yourself off and keep on trying. The world will not come to you..you gotta go to it.
That being said…Obama sure gets blamed for all the ills of the world does he not? A Cottage industry for talk radio and Foxnews.
@tendollar4ways - Yes leaders take the blame and the credit. And sometimes its even deserved
@tendollar4ways - But Obama as much as I do not like him is a winner. He is a guy to take advice from, just not on policy matters
I also agree with what TendDollar4Ways said. But different people define success differently. The most important, by orders of magnitude, is to avoid causing wakes that harm other people. Such as, losing chances at love and financial success because your responsibility is now to watch someone else’s kids while your mother is running errands for them. All with shit being said about you not having anything going on in your life, or you not being interested anyway. Later they still make fun of you for being a sick loser. Your words portray the views of a sick ass asshole.
@tendollar4ways - Like how he blames Bush for everything?
It’s like the blind leading the blind.
while i agree with you 100% about taking responsibility for our poor decisions, i also believe we need to at some point learn to forgive ourselves for them. Almost everyone will screw something up somewhere along the line, and more often than not there will be a slew of mitigating circumstances surrounding the event or events. i don’t think its possible to truly move on from a situation if you constantly beat yourself up over your mistakes.
@tendollar4ways - After the 8 years of hell you liberals put George Bush through, it is high grade, single malt distilled hypocrisy to complain about Obama being held responsible for all his criminal activity.
why rely on others at all? i don’t look to anyone in particular when it comes to how i live my life. i have my own expectations, and i don’t expect anyone to help me get there.
@flapper_femme_fatale - Noone is born knowing much of anything at all. We all learn form others and should learn from others
@jersey_jenn - That is very wise advice. You learn from your mistakes and move on
@musterion99 - Exactly
@RealisticIdealist - He is sort of single minded that way
@jasonwl - Ok … me thinks I hit a soft spot with you. If you feel like you are a loser then change. If you feel like you are falsely called a loser then change your friends. But ether way I am not sure that you have the self confidence it takes to be giving advice at all, be it good or bad advice. I cant really make a judgment on all that, its your life I do not know it. But you can look in the mirror and see what is going on
I have thought about writing a post about success and I think that failure has a huge impact on success. Some people see failure and learn from it. Some people look at their failures and let themselves get beat up by it.
@trunthepaige - I don’t lack self confidence. People misuse the term “confidence”. It has nothing to do with “confidence” in myself. It has everything to do with other peoples’ perceptions and responses. I have to get through other peoples’ brainwashing induced by themselves or others in order to have a chance to begin developing rapport. “Other” people need to see that my own mannerisms are natural in a “very” confident person who actually cares about how one effects others; depending on environment.
Other people play a role in that many people have to make a choice between living a shit life with some people or abandoning them to a far shittier life so that one can actually achieve great personal success.
@jasonwl - Of course it isn’t necessarily anticipated in advance that some great opportunities would be seen and go right on by anyway just because of the bad decisions of others that force you to rip yourself to shreds again to make that same choice again, and again, and again, just because they wouldn’t listen to your side of any situation whatsoever.
@jasonwl - I see what pissed you off. If they see you as a loser that is their problem
I am unhappy with this week’s situation but will try to make the best of it. There are unfortunately asshats who want to drag other people down to their level.
But self discipline and patience can help pull a person upwards and onto victory. Victory is avoiding what is predicted by loosers. Victory is often snatched out of the jaws of defeat.
Theo Dan is on a winning streak with me today. Definitely smart people learn from failures and know it is better to help stop people from failures than to cause people to go towards failures.
It is a sad world if people want more people to fail. It is a given that people like to hang out with winners but let me say if you have friends, it is like good insurance to avoid failure because true friends help you to avoid failure.
Unhappy losers can suck you dry emotionally.
@PPhilip - Yes they do, well said
@Urban_Peril - They do
I have always learned the hard way by making boneheaded mistakes,but I’ve never given up.I’ve had 54 good healthy years,I guess til the last two I seemed to have growing back problems.It was something I was born with and have just this year decided to try and have it corrected to some degree.Recovery is killing me it feels like,but I have never had any type surgery in my life let alone something as major as this operation.There are days I want to give up thinking it’s not going to get any better,but I keep going a day at a time.Sure,I’m only a month and a half past my first surgery but I was told by now I might even be ready to gradually do some work.Set backs they didn’t expect and didn’t really tell me about have kept things slow going.I think I still would’ve gone thru with the surgery tho.I guess what I fear at the moment is the last problems I had they couldn’t pinpoint(everything from small clots in my lungs to pneumonia to paricarditis)all of which I am being treated for,but it’s a slight possiblity my body is rejecting the metal rods and screws causing the infection that can’t be detected.If its the case,I will be opened back up and they will have to washing all the hardward out in my back and then close me back up.Makes me cringe to think about it,and when they close me back up,how would they know my body will somehow accept the metal after being cleaned out.I won’t give up fighting,but I will admit…I’m worn out and tired of it.Sometimes I feel all I have is God’s Grace.
The information in this blog is extremely useful for the people.
singles women
The way I see it, if I want to be successful in my marriage, I seek the advice of married couples who have a happy, healthy marriage that has been successful through the trials of life and time. If I want to run a successful business, I seek the advice of successful businessmen. This applies to most everything in life. Why would I want to take the advice of someone who let their failure crush their dreams instead of using it as a learning opportunity? I don’t want to end up like the person who bitterly gave in to failure and never tried to rise above it. I want to end up like the successful people. So they are the ones I take advice from.
One of my friends is on his fifth marriage. He has tried giving me marriage advice and I mostly just nod politely and smile. Considering how many marriages he has been through, I do not consider him an expert on how to make a relationship last.
@firetyger - Exactly that is it. But its always the guy with two broken marriages who wants to give advice. From that guy all I want to hear is tell me what you did wrong. Obviously he has no idea how to do it right
@Rescued_by_grace - You have been in my prayer for a while now. That fervor did scare me, I would hate to think how scared it made your family
@trunthepaige - The fever is still hanging around at 99 but no 102 and 103 anymore.The docs wanted me off all antibiotics as not to mask infection from the rods and screws that they can’t detect in my blood.I’m hoping it’s the paricardidis causing the chest pain and fever because it’s being treated with an anti inflamitory (Indomethacin).On it 3 times a day for 7 days,it makes me pee every 1 to 2 hours which is no fun trying to sleep at night.This has felt good getting this stuff off my chest,I guess I should write all these thoughts out on my xanga just to keep it from being bottled up.Thanks for the prayers too,it means a lot.
As someone who tries not to make major life mistakes, I get told ALL THE TIME that “You need to make mistakes to learn from them…” No, I’m pretty sure that I’m fine with trying to get it right the first time. Nice post. I don’t really know specifically who you were talking about, which is good, because I can just think of the people I know who fit that profile.
@Rescued_by_grace - I’m sorry I did not delete that. Its done now
@trunthepaige - It’s not a problem Paige.I really do feel sorry for that guy.The jerks on here really don’t bother me,you didn’t have to delete it.I leave stuff like that up so people can see for themselves the type person that person is.I think in the long run I’ll be glad I had the surgery,it’s just a struggle right now.Had 101 this morning and my biggest fear is having to go back in for a 4th surgery to wash out around the rods and screws in my back.For some reason,infection from that doesn’t show up in blood work.